I got asked; "Is there a difference in your relationship with your now husband? Now that you 2 are married? Versus when you guys weren't?"
I can honestly answer this and say our relationship now that we are married is better than before. It isn't perfect but a lot has changed and we are continuing to both work on ourselves as well as our friendship/relationship.
When we first got together I was struggling with my past life and I cheated on him (not physically but still) and from then things got a little rocky between us because he didn't know if he forgave me truly for what I did. We then began to move forward and things began to feel so right with us because we have known each other for 5 years prior and he was my best friend. Then things between us got very serious really quick and we had our first baby; That is where things began to be really rough between us because we fought like crazy everyday, we literally argued about everything, things sometimes got physical on both ends and I didn't quite accept his family how he accepted mines. It was just really bad between us and it didn't help that I was depressed, I did not feel like being on earth anymore at certain times we fought and I just wanted to give up which he felt the same sometimes. I was so insecure about myself in so many ways; I got jealous of worrying about other girls trying to talk to him and/or worrying about what if he cheats on me or leaves me. I just didn't have any trust in him or confidence in myself because my body changed and I felt so fat and ugly after having our baby, I just didn't feel like I was good enough or looked good enough for him anymore. We would have multiple conversations about this and he would make me feel good in the moment but later on my mind always drifted in feeling the same way I felt.
Fast forward we began to prepare now for our second child to arrive and as I grew everyday I got way more insecure about myself which pushed me to argue with him over EVERYTHING. I still didn't trust him completely and as I got bigger I felt like I was becoming more ugly for him to love; then we hit a really rough patch just weeks before I was due to give birth. He ended up cheating on me not, physically but emotionally and he found a girl to talk to for a little bit because after all our non stop arguing and both of us being completely unhappy with each other he felt that he was done with me and our relationship.
After I pleaded with God for help we worked things out and things started to look up for us, and then we had our second born which I then fell back into my depression and this time I felt so much worse than before because even more I was a lot heavier and it didn't help that everyone around me, including my friends would point out how fat I was; I just couldn't take it and I cried almost everyday and I felt so alone and so unworthy. My husband (boyfriend at the time) changed this time around and he actually sat down with me and talked with me about wanting to know more about what I'm depressed about and how he could help me because he doesn't understand. It took awhile but he began to help me out a lot with dealing with my depression and he understood when I would feel this way that all he could do is comfort me as I deal with it and he did so good for me I couldn't appreciate him more for that because things felt so much better with him just trying.
Time went on and we dealt with the passing of my Uncle; which it was only then that I slowly started to get back with God and his word because losing someone this close to me opened my eyes and heart up more thinking that life is way too short! From then on I just prayed more and more putting all my faith and trust in God to help me through all and any trials & tribulations that came my way. My boyfriend then asked me to marry him and we did talk about it because we both felt like life is too short to wait and we both knew that we were gonna spend our lives together, so we got engaged. Being engaged and continuing to find God and follow his word helped slowly better things between us and we began to communicate, listen and understand each other better than normal.
Fast forward we got married and ever since we got married we both felt like things between us were different, we both felt more happier together and although we have only been married for 1 month we began to be more attentive, communicate and love each other better. Things between us has gotten a lot better and we pray together more, we think more like a unit instead of "my this, my that" it's US & OURS, I do my best to be more open with his family, we came up with solutions to helping each other out with what we each want, we always talk to each other instead of arguing, we apologize and forgive with sincerity, my husband says I am a lot more peaceful then before too lol and even though things aren't 100% perfect WE LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH IT ALL!!
